Deciding to Stay Single for a Year in Your Mid-Thirties: A Man's Perspective

​As a man in my mid-thirties, last year I made the decision to stay single for a year or more.... This included anything from casual dates to full on relationships. This wasn't a decision I came to lightly or thought I'd stick to to be honest, but rather after careful consideration and reflection on my past relationships and future goals I knew it would be worth it in the long run. In this post, I will share my experience and perspective on why I decided to take a break from dating and stay single for a year - or more.

First and foremost, I realised that I had not taken enough time to focus on myself and my personal growth, like ever. Throughout my teens, twenties and early thirties, I had been in a series of long-term relationships that left me feeling drained and unfulfilled. I had always prioritised my partner's needs and wants over my own (as many of us do), and as a result, I had lost sight of my own goals and aspirations.

I realised that I needed to take a step back and focus on my own personal growth before I could fully commit to a healthy and fulfilling relationship. I wanted to take the time to explore my own interests and passions, develop my own understanding of myself to a much higher degree, and prioritise my mental and physical health.

Another reason I decided to do this was to break free from the cycle of toxic relationships that I had found myself in. I had a pattern of attracting partners who were emotionally unavailable, manipulative, or who didn't align with my values and priorities.

By taking a break from dating, I was able to break this pattern and focus on developing healthy relationships with friends and family. With this new found free time and clarity it gave me chance to address any underlying issues that may have contributed to my past relationships and to gain a better understanding of my own emotional needs and boundaries.

Lastly, I wanted to challenge societal expectations that men must always be in a relationship or pursuing romantic interests. I felt a sense of pressure to constantly be dating and proving my worth through my relationships. By taking a break from dating, I was able to redefine my own self-worth and focus on my own happiness and well-being.

While it has now been actually over a year since I made the decision to stay single, I have noticed significant changes in my life. I have more time and energy to focus on my personal growth and development, and I am no longer caught up in the cycle of toxic relationships.

I have also gained a newfound sense of confidence and independence, and I'm no longer afraid to pursue my own interests and passions. Most importantly, I have learned to prioritise my own mental and physical health, and I'm no longer willing to compromise on my own happiness for the sake of a relationship.

In conclusion, taking time off dating can have numerous benefits. It allows you to focus on self-discovery, mental and emotional health, building stronger relationships with friends and family, and redefining what you want in a future relationship. It's important to remember that there's no right or wrong way to approach dating, and taking time off is a valid and worthwhile option. By prioritising yourself, you'll be in a better position to create a happy and fulfilling life, with or without a partner.